I must be crazy…

I must be crazy. I am considering going back to school. I think that Mark must be speaking to me from the grave because when he was alive; I told him he was insane to think that I would take a (single) college class. I didn’t like school when I was there the first time and that has been 21 year ago.  I always said that I would go to college if they would let me take the classes that I want to take and not all the shit that they say I have to take…and now I might take anyway.  As if I have time.  I can’t spin around three times and hit myself in the ass; how am I going to take any college classes??!!??

 

FYI- spinning around three times and not being able to hit yourself in the ass is a major insult in my family right up there with needing a Plexi-otomy.  In case you don’t know what that is:

 

Plexi-otomy(Uncle Bob): where they remove the front panel of your abdomen and install a sheet of Plexiglas so you can see where you are going when you have your head up your ass.

 

So that being said, if I have a plexi-otomy, I should be able to score decently on the compass math testing…..right!  Math.  As in that is the skill that my Father and Sister possess.  Not I.  (Extreme anxiety and stress=more alcohol to relieve symptoms.)  Because I have taken the sample tests when I am able to take my break at work (= only free time I have)…..I passed the first sample test 100%. That one is like % and if there is interest and you amortize etc etc. etc….= my $$$$ and I know what the hell you are talking about here. The second test was 2y+4z=6x.

 

WHAT?!

 

Is this Portuguese?

 

Because I could learn that much easier. David Lee Roth knows Portuguese. So like I am sure that I could do that….but this shit….is like aliens sent down a language that only certain people who have alien blood in their veins could interpret (my Father and my Sister) (nothing personal)(but seriously…who speaks this shit?!).

 

And then there was a bunch of logarithms and other stuff my nightmares are made of…..OYE!! 

 

Shannon+college= no way.

 

HELP.

 

Sinking.

 

On top of all my other life stuff…

 

My aunt Kathy says that time passes no matter what, so you might as well be earning you degree. J

Fork It over Obama. Because I think that you have bent me over enough that you owe me something (did I just say that out loud?). Someone should benefit from your f*#$ups. Why not me?

 

……and now for something completely different:

 

SOOO… I wrote down my list of things to get done today (that’s what extremely self-critical people do in the wee hours of the morning before they get out of bed or want to wake their spouses). I had a list of 15 things. I completed 4. I started on a few others…but you don’t get to cross them off until they are complete (don’t believe me; check the overachiever hand book). So technically I only finished 4. Now mind you, this weekend coming up is a holiday and I am planning on having time to make up lost time because isn’t that what holidays are for?

 

And this is where my Granddaddy should send a lightning bolt down to strike me because I remember when I was little thinking ‘why is he still out there working? When the rest of us are in the house?’ But her I am and I can’t seem to help myself.

 

I built a chicken water not freezing in cold temperature thingie.

Gave Isaac a hair cut.

Cut up T-shirts to make a rug (don’t ask)

Cleaned the kitchen (not on my list- doesn’t count)

Worked on GS

And really the rest is a blur….

 

So back to bed now…..till my next list (which is running FYI. A running list. Until the page is full and then I transfer the unmarked items and start a new one)

(oh PS-I roasted a deer neck bone- but we didn’t eat it. It is in the fridge.)