I must be crazy…

I must be crazy. I am considering going back to school. I think that Mark must be speaking to me from the grave because when he was alive; I told him he was insane to think that I would take a (single) college class. I didn’t like school when I was there the first time and that has been 21 year ago.  I always said that I would go to college if they would let me take the classes that I want to take and not all the shit that they say I have to take…and now I might take anyway.  As if I have time.  I can’t spin around three times and hit myself in the ass; how am I going to take any college classes??!!??

 

FYI- spinning around three times and not being able to hit yourself in the ass is a major insult in my family right up there with needing a Plexi-otomy.  In case you don’t know what that is:

 

Plexi-otomy(Uncle Bob): where they remove the front panel of your abdomen and install a sheet of Plexiglas so you can see where you are going when you have your head up your ass.

 

So that being said, if I have a plexi-otomy, I should be able to score decently on the compass math testing…..right!  Math.  As in that is the skill that my Father and Sister possess.  Not I.  (Extreme anxiety and stress=more alcohol to relieve symptoms.)  Because I have taken the sample tests when I am able to take my break at work (= only free time I have)…..I passed the first sample test 100%. That one is like % and if there is interest and you amortize etc etc. etc….= my $$$$ and I know what the hell you are talking about here. The second test was 2y+4z=6x.

 

WHAT?!

 

Is this Portuguese?

 

Because I could learn that much easier. David Lee Roth knows Portuguese. So like I am sure that I could do that….but this shit….is like aliens sent down a language that only certain people who have alien blood in their veins could interpret (my Father and my Sister) (nothing personal)(but seriously…who speaks this shit?!).

 

And then there was a bunch of logarithms and other stuff my nightmares are made of…..OYE!! 

 

Shannon+college= no way.

 

HELP.

 

Sinking.

 

On top of all my other life stuff…

 

My aunt Kathy says that time passes no matter what, so you might as well be earning you degree. J

Fork It over Obama. Because I think that you have bent me over enough that you owe me something (did I just say that out loud?). Someone should benefit from your f*#$ups. Why not me?

 

……and now for something completely different:

 

SOOO… I wrote down my list of things to get done today (that’s what extremely self-critical people do in the wee hours of the morning before they get out of bed or want to wake their spouses). I had a list of 15 things. I completed 4. I started on a few others…but you don’t get to cross them off until they are complete (don’t believe me; check the overachiever hand book). So technically I only finished 4. Now mind you, this weekend coming up is a holiday and I am planning on having time to make up lost time because isn’t that what holidays are for?

 

And this is where my Granddaddy should send a lightning bolt down to strike me because I remember when I was little thinking ‘why is he still out there working? When the rest of us are in the house?’ But her I am and I can’t seem to help myself.

 

I built a chicken water not freezing in cold temperature thingie.

Gave Isaac a hair cut.

Cut up T-shirts to make a rug (don’t ask)

Cleaned the kitchen (not on my list- doesn’t count)

Worked on GS

And really the rest is a blur….

 

So back to bed now…..till my next list (which is running FYI. A running list. Until the page is full and then I transfer the unmarked items and start a new one)

(oh PS-I roasted a deer neck bone- but we didn’t eat it. It is in the fridge.)

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2 Comments

  1. granny said,

    November 25, 2013 at 10:28 AM

    POOR BABY, I’M AFRAID YOU GOT THE ANTI-ALGEBRA GENES INSTEAD OF THE ONES FROM YOU DADDY! OH, WELL, WE CAN’T HAVE IT ALL, NOW, CAN WE? TEE-HEE! YOU WILL DO O.K. ANYWAY. I’M SURE OF IT! WHY DID YOU NOT EAT THE NECK? CHOPPED UP, IT MAKES WONDERFUL SANDWICH OR SALAD MEAT. LOVE YA.

  2. Claudia said,

    November 25, 2013 at 9:30 PM

    Yes, math is your down-fall, but you are so good in everything else, I don’t think you should worry.
    I’m am worn out just reading everything you are thinking and doing!!!
    Remember, you can have many careers, go for it!!!


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