Dangerous Week

This week has been pretty perilous for me. I have no one to blame but myself. Something in the cosmos is not lined up right or perhaps my aura needs to be cleansed. Whatever it is, I hope it lets up soon or who knows how I will fare the weekend.

The beginning of the week, I was in the garden to get some stuff taken care of (beans finally planted FYI) and I had a little accident. And really it was little. It could have been worse but I was fast on my feet.

To give a little background and set the stage. I have a basket hanging from one of the cross beams in the green house that I stash hand tools and gloves and the like in. Just to keep it up off the ground, which it is off the ground, it is about a foot over my head, but I can reach up into it very easily. In this basket there is an Old Hickory butcher knife. It is not always there but has been there for about a week. I was using it to chop down the monstrous swiss chard which is completely out of control. The heavy duty kitchen shears I also keep in the basket were not cutting it (pun intended). As a matter of fact I used to have two pair but broke one trying to cut the chard a few days earlier.

Anyway back to the story, I reached up to get my glove out of the basket, fully aware of the butcher knife, pulled my gloves down and was putting one on when something hit me across the wrist, where the base of my thumb connects, then it hit my belly on the way down. About that time I realized what it was and was fast enough to jump my feet apart and thankfully my toes escaped unscathed (because I am wearing flip-flops of course). So I have a nice slice across my wrist and a scratch down my belly. How it scratched my belly and did not cut my shirt, I do not know. Wrist healed up very nicely and quickly because it was such a razor sharp cut it just seamed right back together with neosporin.


I have decided that I need a machete to do garden work instead of a butcher knife (hint hint Christmas is coming soon). All cutlery mishaps aside, I have to say it is so nice to have a grocery store produce department in your back yard.

So then yesterday we were headed home off the mountain on the gravel road. Jay pulled over and asked if I would drive for a while. I opened the truck door to get out and switch places with him and fell flat on my face. Really. It is that simple. Had I been drinking you ask? Sadly, no.

So here is the break down, because I am still trying to work it through in my head. One minute I was in the truck; the next I was on my face in the gravel.

I opened the truck door, put my right foot on the ground to step out, added my weight to that foot. It was at that moment that I realized that my foot was rolling on a round rock. My left leg was still inside the truck so I could not balance myself with it. I just went straight out onto my face. My head landed by the back tire somewhere.

I said, “Oh Shit!” as I knew I was going down. I managed to get my right hand up to stop myself as I hit the dirt. At least that saved me from doing a full face plant. (That would have been totally awesome. I would have looked like someone beat the crap out of me. I am not walking very fast as it is.)

So suddenly I am on the ground, nose in the gravel, yea, as I tried to push myself up with my wrist that just took my full body weight, it gave out, I said (to the dirt under my nose), ‘OH MY GOD, You would think I was drunk!”

At this point I just rolled over onto my back and gave into it. I lay there in the dirt in the middle of the road and laughter ensued.

In the mean time, my family who all  heard me yell ‘shit!’ are looking around and can not locate me (because I am out of site on the ground on the other side of the truck). The boys hung there heads out the window directly above me and started laughing. My husband then was standing over me looking down with this half confused and half concerned look on his face. Through my laughter I managed to get out, “Are you sure you want me to drive?” He then helped me off the ground.

I am still trying to figure out how you can land on your right hip and left elbow – at the same time? Because I have bruises in both places. Go figure!



  1. Claudia said,

    July 15, 2011 at 6:59 PM

    Oh my gosh. I can’t beleive you didn’t break your wrist. Zane broke his when he went off his skate board and caught his weight with his hand, which is kinda an automatic responds. You have a gardian angel, for sure. “Stay safe”

  2. Vic said,

    July 24, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    That’s some serious biorythm disturbances. At least you could still laugh during the process. Did he still want you to drive? I can hear those boys laughing. Reminds me of that commercial — ” Mom just caught air!”

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