Here, There and Everywhere

Why can’t everyone live in one place?

My whole life my family has been strung across the country…from Washington down the coast  thru Arizona across Texas even Missouri to Alabama. I hate the fact that no matter where I live…I am always away from someone.

And every new place I live; I make new friends. How could have known I would make so many true friends when I moved to Missouri. Going there not knowing a soul. I sure didn’t expect to gain a sister and many friends that I hold close to my heart.

When I got to Missouri I was not so sure that I hadn’t made a terrible mistake. I hated lots of things. I hated the bugs, the humidity, the pollen and the mold, this thing called a wind chill factor, the fact that the creeks, rivers and lakes looked like mud holes (you want me to swim in that?), and the people were very cliquish (as if impressing anyone was ever my problem, but it was hard to make friends). Now that I am gone from Mo I miss the beautiful change of seasons especially fall with the crisp air, cutting bittersweet, harvesting pumpkins, the beautiful leaves and everything else that goes with it in my memories. I miss gardening in Missouri (you pretty much throw it in the ground and it grows-as long as something else doesn’t grow over the top of it). I love the endless amount of dirt roads you can just cruise if you have nothing else to do and the endless supply of rocks everywhere(arrowheads, fossils, geodes, etc.). But most of all I miss the people. OK- not all the people. There are some I don’t miss one iota but others very close to my heart that I do miss terribly. My family by marriage and some of the best friends I will ever have in my life live in Missouri.

Then I came back to Arizona; I reconnected with a lot I had left behind. The smell of orange blossoms on the night breeze. The smell of creosote when it rains (nothing and I mean NOTHING smells like the desert in the rain). The beauty of the saguaro and red rocks, the smell of cooking beans and carne asada coming from every direction on Saturday night with Tejano music thumping in the near distance. The best citrus fruit you could ever want-for free. Open attitudes and acceptingness. Lifelong friends from my youth and most important-being close to my family.

So as I prepare to move forward and relocate again, I am plagued with a roller coaster of emotions. Excitement, relief, love, longing, anguish and anxiety. If I could pack my mother, sister and close friends in a box and take them with me-it would solve so many of my fears. The thought of living far away from them again is torturing me.

I keep telling myself the world is smaller now. It is easier to stay in touch.

I really wish everyone could just live in one place. As a matter of fact if we all moved to one spot there is enough of us that we could form our own community. We would just have to strategically place certain people on opposite sides of the compound in order to avoid any unnecessary conflicts. Like a seating chat if you will. But when we all got together-it would be one hell of a party. And since I am in charge of this make-believe world that belongs to me……if anyone causes problems, I will personally kick your ass; and then the rest of us will proceed to party without you.

Why does life have to be so damn complicated?

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4 Comments

  1. Matt said,

    April 15, 2010 at 7:34 AM

    “The smell of creosote” So this is how intellegent you are. I have lived in Mesa all my life and know exactly what your talking about but never had a name for it. So I gave it my own personal made up name, I call it wet verses dry. Don’t ask why I did mayabe from when I was a little kid. I so love that smell I can almost taist it when I am smelling it. For me the pleasure was almost indescribable but thanks to you now I know!

  2. Claudia said,

    April 15, 2010 at 10:42 AM

    Just think how lucky you are to have been able to meet all those freinds. I always told my kids, don’t think of it as losing, those freinds will always remember you and you them, without the move you will miss out on the next great freinds.
    I always wanted to and still ponder it, having one big house with extremely large living area and bedrooms off all sides with bathrooms. Each family have there group of bedrooms and baths then everyone share living room and kitchen. Split the cost, so no one has to struggle. MY DREAM.I want no one to struggle.
    I guess we all want what we don’t have. I wanted to move, just got bulged down with realestate and stuff, and Jim’s fears ( he doesn’t know he has) But ideally to be independently wealthy so you can go see family would be the best.
    But I feel so much closer to you and neices because of internet, now. Use to, couldn’t catch anyone when you tried to call, and I was always afraid of disturbing someone, so didn’t call , just thought about everyone. The communication is so much nicer now.
    All of that stuff bothers us more as we get older. Time begins to go faster and relationships have a whole new meaning. But you are too young to stop living your life, so get out there and see whats in the next portion!!! Dance the Dance. We love you, Claudia

  3. Aunt Krazy said,

    April 16, 2010 at 4:59 AM

    I think you have described paradise. It will be a place that has the best of all parts of the world and all the people whom you love close to you.

  4. Vic said,

    April 19, 2010 at 8:47 AM

    We love you , too.


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