Moving forward

Why do we feel undeserving of happiness? Is it something in our hard wiring? A human nature quark? Upbringing perhaps? Sometimes we even go to the extent of sabotaging it for ourselves. The idea seems so ridiculous and counter productive, yet we do it. All of us have at some point in time or another in our lives. Whether by chance or fault. Some have sabotaged themselves for their entire lives. Some are fortunate enough to have the light bulb come on and see that it was in their control all along. Some poor souls never wake up to the realization.

It is hard for us to admit our character faults, our wrong doings, and any other mis-guided decisions we have made through the course of things. No one wants to admit they were wrong-that is human nature. I believe it takes a very strong person to be able to accomplish this feat. I personally know lesser people who take no responsiblity for their own doings. They blame their decisions, their current status, their entire lives on others. Taking no responsibility upon themselves. I have no respect for people who can not own up to their own lives that they created. Going thru life like zombies.

Why do we worry how other people perceive us?  Why should we care what anyone else thinks? It is easy to say you do not, but very few people are truthful in that statement. I don’t think I know a single soul that doesn’t worry about what at least one other person on the face of the planet thinks about them, even if they deny it to themselves, they still do care. For whatever reason.

I always said, “Your life is what you make it.” And I believe that. And I believe I have lived to that mantra for the most part.

I don’t want to be a zombie. I want to learn from my mistakes. Which is very hard. There are some pretty big hurdles in this world.  I feel most of the biggest are behind me. You have to be careful because if you spend all of your time looking back at the ones you have already scaled, you will trip over the smaller ones coming up in front of you.  I am going to stop worrying how other people perceive my happiness. It is my happiness.

A very wise man once told me, “If you are wrong, admit your wrong and do your best to fix it. If you are right, scream like hell.”

Here I go.

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2 Comments

  1. j said,

    March 18, 2010 at 3:48 PM

    I love this… lately I’ve been trying to be very aware of when I’m worrying about what other people think about me. It isn’t that I blame other people for my life, it’s that I live my life trying to please others- even those that don’t deserve pleasing- and what a waste that is. It’s hard to let go of a habit that’s so completely mental though.

  2. Claudia said,

    April 6, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    Very good, so true. I think of the verse in the bible when I think of myself—Oh you of so little faith. If I did have faith, I wouldn’t be worrying and trying to solve everyones problems. Why do I have the need to take on everyones problems. I am tired, I want some peace. The answer is there but I hang on and won’t let go. What causes people to do that???


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